Farrah Saville opens up about turning the weird 3-8 while living as an expat.
I’ve just hit the triple whammy; I have turned 38, my child is now a fully-fledged toddler and I have moved countries. Thirty-eight is weird. You see, when you are in your teens, and rollicking twenties you think by 38, and at least by motherhood you would have life figured out but here I am, still figuring things out.
Thirty-eight is a weird number because you aren’t quite in your forties but you are definitely no longer 30 and flirty. Society tells us that by a certain age you need to have certain things ticked off “the list”- two kids, a white-picket fence, and a dog named ‘Fluffy’ at certain intervals in life – but the reality is far different.
I did not think that at 38 I would be making new friends or evaluating old friendships and this is not quite the same as when you establish your trusted circle during your formative years. Partying, clubbing and going out to eat during the week isn’t always a viable option with a three-year-old so making friends and meeting new people might be a little tougher.
The obvious thing is to make friends with other moms but moms are not just one big group of people lumped together and having children doesn’t automatically equate similar interests. Also, you seek quality over quantity because time is a big factor, which brings me to my next point.
In another aspect the number thirty-eight is strange because it’ll make you question how you intend on living your life in the years to come. Up until a certain point you think “you have time” and that you can put off many things to the next day, the next week or the next year but as you see 40 on the horizon you begin to truly question how much you can put off and how to prioritise the moment while still planning for the years ahead. this is only exacerbated by being “settled” as an expat.
More significantly, by 38, I really thought I would have figured out the routine aspects of life and be one of those 5am risers who works out religiously, drinks my eight glasses of water a day and has a shot of wheat grass before heading to work energised, and recharged. I am still waiting for the day when I wake up smiling instead of groaning and rolling over as my alarm buzzes away. I am still figuring out a routine that works for me.
And while all this may sound like whining and moaning, believe me it’s not. What I am realising about 38 is that while it may be weird it is also a wonderful number, one that allows you to dissect, analyse and change. Mostly, it’s a chance to start again and again while figuring out what works for you and how to make it work for you.
