What is Emotional Intelligence? Ouiam El Hassani not only explains by imparts some sound advice on how we can raise emotionally intelligent children.
Emotional intelligence is critically important to everyone’s success and overall health; but how do you foster this emotional growth in your child? Knowing where to start can be daunting, especially if you haven’t experienced good emotional support in your own life.
The good news is: it is possible for you—no matter your background—to promote increased emotional intelligence in your children and, in the process, raise healthy, happy children.
But first, let’s break down these two little words: emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to understand, regulate, and express one’s own emotions. Not only that, but it also refers to the ability to perceive, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others.
So, now that we better understand EQ, let’s dig into six ways to raise emotionally intelligent children:
Start with yourself
You cannot help your children if you do not help yourself first. Take time to notice your emotions, triggers, and coping skills. Practice the following tools yourself before working on them with your children. After all, parenting is about continuous growth, right?
Name and honour feelings—yours and theirs
Understanding, honouring, and naming feelings can start from the time your child is an infant and continue throughout childhood. You can respond to their cues appropriately, practice facial expressions, and engage in active listening.
You can use art, a feelings chart, books, or storytelling to support this process. Holding space for you and your children to experience feelings can take practice, especially with difficult emotions, like anger, jealousy, or sadness. So instead of getting down on yourself if you struggle, just take a deep breath, and begin again!
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Show empathy
Here are three super simple ways to start:
1- Share with your children when a loved one is struggling in an age-appropriate way.
2- Use real-life examples to highlight empathy.
3- Encourage them to check on others.
Model and support healthy coping skills
This concept goes back to the importance of taking care of yourself before you can take care of others. The best part is that, in taking care of yourself, you are helping your children learn by example.
When your children see you taking care of yourself through exercise, meditation, journaling, or socialising, they learn that they can engage in those things as well.
Teach and model social skills
Have you let your friendships go now that you are a parent? No matter where you are on this journey, you can support yourself and your children by engaging in healthy social relationships.
Take time out to make that phone call, go to dinner, or check out the new restaurant with a friend or say “no” when you need to. Watching you navigate social situations is an incredible learning opportunity for them.
Engage in emotionally intelligent play
Play is the language through which children learn. Yes, even teenagers, because play isn’t just play, it’s a window into your child’s inner world.
Use it as a tool to get to know and support them. For younger children, try engaging in imaginary play with specific scenarios you want to teach. For older children, play typically takes shape in the form of a video game, board game or sport.
Finally, when it comes to emotional intelligence, the one tool that is absolutely irreplaceable is books. Reading is a wonderful way to teach, learn and grow for you and your children.
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