Ouiam Charkani El Hassani tells us how to cope with the changes presented by the pandemic.
Mothers are on edge since the COVID-19 beast has been on the loose. Not only are they stressed about the safety, and well-being of their kids and themselves, they are also being pulled and tugged in every possible direction you can think of.
Schools have been closed since last February – and this alone has caused enough trauma to many mothers out there that no psychologist can ever fix. Some schools have reopened last month, and some parents have chosen to send their kids to school, yet their stress level is through the roof, every second of every minute their kids are away from the safety of their arms. On the other hand, some parents have opted for online schooling, which means the little rascals are still invading each and every minute of peace parents would ever dream of having.
These same beaten, exhausted, and traumatized mothers, are also being denied the universal right of getting together with a friend, and having a cup of coffee, or indulging in a heavenly massage and a whole 60 minutes of silence, without hearing the word “Mama” 300 times per minute! Not only are their cups way below the red line, making them prone to collapsing any time soon, they are also unable to fill that cup with anything other than the very little sleep they get every night, and maybe some few spoons -or tubs, no judgement here- of ice cream when the kids are finally in bed. The nature of the COVID-19 virus means that information is changing rapidly, and so are all the plans guided by that information, in other words: NO ONE knows when you will be able to put on your fancy heals, your red lipstick, and head for a girls-night-out, so it might be just wise to sit and think of ways to fill up that cup before it is too late.
Here are some ways you can actually practice self-care during a pandemic:
Change your attitude.
I know this is hard. Big time, but this is a great opportunity to demonstrate to your kids, how your family deals with difficult situations, and overcomes challenges. This time is truly a gift sent from heaven, to you and your family. You probably will never have them this long in your nest ever again!
I am not saying pretend everything is fine, but do try to keep your frustrations and anxieties from ruining your day. “Fake it until you make it” kind of thing and remember your children are always listening and watching.
Be honest with your kids.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying things like “Mommy really needs a minute on her own, right now. She will come back to you happier and ready to have some more fun”. Kids can absorb more information that we can ever give them credit for. They are very resilient, and can show an immense amount of empathy and understanding.
Create time for yourself.
I know it is practically impossible to make time for yourself, because between the house, husband, and kids, there is hardly any time to spare. However, I am saying “CREATE time!” Make yourself a priority on that list. You don’t need more than 10 minutes to yourself, every day to be able to function somehow normally. Wake up 10 minutes earlier and do some meditation, stay up a bit late and watch an episode of the series you’ve been hearing about. Tell the kids that it is quiet time after lunch, and encourage them to stay in their room reading, while you rest. Ask the kids to help you around the house, this way you get some extra time to read a book before dinner.
Look at your day and see when you can fit 10 minutes JUST for you!
Get all glammed up.
Put on some nail polish, put on some make up, wear some fancy clothes, even if it is to wash the dishes and fold the laundry! Looking good will help you feel good.
Start a new project, or finish an old one.
You always wanted to tackle embroidery? Well there you go, that is your time! You once started writing a book, but never finished it? Then what are you waiting for?
Make sure when you look back in time, you would be happy about how you have spent this very long break.
Take a break from your phone.
As much as I would hate to say it, but it is true, phones and social media are adding to your stress. Ditch your phone for a bit, and go for a walk, or a drive, or even take a bath, whatever works for you.
We -moms- are the glue that holds the family together, if you are running on very little, to no self-care at all, everything will crumble and slip through your fingers.
