Rana Alamuddin
Actress, TV host and women’s empowerment activist.
Please give us a little information about yourself, your background and what you do. How has motherhood changed the way you work?
I am an actress and a TV host and the founder of Bayneh W Baynek a platform for the multi-faceted, unapologetic Arab woman on a mission to self-realise. We officially launched last September with a raw and intimate conversation with Oscar-nominated filmmaker Nadine Labaki. This is the pilot for a conversation series with inspiring women from all over the Arab world. This platform is really designed to give women from the entire region a voice in a safe, non-judgemental and supportive environment.
Motherhood has definitely changed the way I work because I have less time so I have learned how to maximise in a short period of time. I think becoming a mother makes you more creative because you become less self-centred. When you have another person to take care of, it’s no longer me, me, me – all about me. But also, giving birth, giving life is a creative process. So, I think that, in and of itself, opens your chakras, opens your channels to be more creative and more receptive. I really do believe that motherhood is a divine privilege in which we get to co-create with the divine. So, that channel has opened and you can’t really close it. So definitely, I’ve become more creative since I’ve been a mother and I’ve learned how to manage my time. Before I could spend 10-12 hours or 15 hours trying to work on a script or a role but not necessarily feel inspired. But, since I’ve had children, I think ‘OK, I have 15 minutes to write this or I have two hours to come up with an idea’. You become much more efficient in a short period of time. Of course, it also slows you down in certain ways. Sometimes I feel that, because I’m a mother, I can’t spend 15 hours in a row just lost on a project or an idea or brainstorming on visuals for a project. So, in a way, I do feel as if it’s amplified my creativity and my receptiveness but at the same time it does slow you because you have other humans who need you and that you need to prioritise.
Do women still confront the attitude that they have to choose between following their creative dreams and having children?
Absolutely, there’s still that attitude and I think from us as well. As mothers, we sometimes feel torn because the truth is, it’s difficult. I’m not going to say everything is rosy or you can have it all. You can do everything. You can, of course, do both but there’s a price to pay. For me, for instance, right now, the price is my sanity, my health. I get sick. I crash, I get adrenal exhaustion, I have hormonal issues happening because I’m working seven days a week at the moment. I’ve got a lot of things going on between my film career and my platform – I’m curating and creating content, I’m writing and I’m working on campaigns, I have a very small team and we have no budget yet until we get sponsors on board; so, I’m really spread thin. And I have my kids and my husband and we travel. So, right now I can say that the price I’m paying is my health and sometimes my mental and emotional wellbeing. So, it’s not just the main attitude in our society that’s classical that the man is the breadwinner, that he goes and makes the money and the woman stays at home with the kids. It’s wonderful if that’s what you want but, for me, it’s just not enough for me to feel fulfilled. As an artist I have to create, I have to communicate with larger audiences, I need to keep that side of me active. So, for me, it’s trying to reconcile and be at peace. I’m doing my best but sometimes I feel that I’m failing. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing as a mother. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing at work. Because it’s really hard to do both.
If you have found it a challenge to combine the two, how have you overcome this?
I wouldn’t say you overcome it because it’s a daily thing. Every day I ask myself “Am I being the best mother I can?” Not even that, I ask myself, “Am I being a good mother full stop?” And every day I’m thinking: Am I doing well at my work? Am I missing opportunities? Am I not working enough? Should I put in more hours? Do I need to tell my mum to come and stay with the kids so that I can focus on work? I have these questions every single day, so I can’t say I’ve overcome this but I’ve helped myself by really accepting what I can and what I can’t do. I decided that for me to be able to work, I needed to get help. I needed to have a driver to take my kids to school, I needed a nanny to help me do this. I need to be able to sleep in certain days. Other days I wake my kids and I take them to school. I have to travel sometimes. If I travel, I ring my mother and she takes care of the kids while I’m away. I’ve found ways to try and get some help so that, at least, I can move forward with my projects professionally and creatively. If I didn’t do all these little things to help myself, it would be impossible. So, I think it’s really OK to accept where you need help and support and to not compare.
I think comparing is really poisonous; and a lot of us mothers, we do that. You’re looking at the other mothers and asking yourself who’s doing things better?
I think it’s important to say that this is what works for me right now and for my family. At other times it’s completely different. I have months sometimes where I don’t work at all.
What needs to change both generally and in Bahrain and the region more specifically, to encourage women to follow both their creativity and the path of motherhood?
I would say women need to start marrying men who are supportive of that. If that’s what a woman desires before she gets married – to have both a creative career and be a mother — she needs to marry a partner that’s on board. I think that’s the first thing. Also, speak to your parents, tell them about that. Don’t hide it, I think teenagers and young adults should speak to their parents openly about this. Explain that they want, to pursue something creative. That it’s not a hobby, because a lot of people, particularly in this part of the world, think of art as a hobby. So, the idea is to do marketing or business and then you can be an artist on the side. Some people don’t want to be an artist on the side, they just want to be an artist.
Are you working towards this in any way?
Working on changing the mentality? Of course, through my platform where I’m giving a voice to women to speak their mind and to be creative and to talk about what makes them unique and that they can make their own choices. We have lots of women talk about all sorts of things. Pursuing their dreams, pursuing art even though their husbands were against it. Other women decided to raise children on their own, so that they could live in a way that they feel is authentic. A lot of women on our platform are talking about making sometimes difficult choices and decisions so that they can live a life that’s aligned with their values.
Please give us a little information about yourself, your background and what you do. How has motherhood changed the way you work?
I am a jewellery designer and jeweller at Azza Showroom, based at La Fontaine, with an educational background in law and politics, gemology, and jewellery design. Motherhood has improved me as a person and made me a better version of myself, as I reassessed my life and weeded out any unnecessary distractions, that included shutting down two businesses as I chose one business to focus on instead of running three along side my growing family. My priorities have been so clear and simple to maintain and I have never been more content and happy with this change in my life.
Do women still confront the attitude that they have to choose between following their creative dreams and having children?
Yes, I hear this all the time. I believe every woman is different, and being a mother is enough, we don’t all need to turn our creative outlets into businesses, we can have hobbies that are enjoyable and make us feel whole. Having young children, I feel this is a very important phase in a woman’s life as we need to invest in our health and self-care in order to be the best mothers we can be, and a creative dream can turn into a reality when the timing is right.
If you have found it a challenge to combine the two, how have you overcome this?
At first it was very difficult as I tried to work like my pre-babies self and be a full-time mother, after my first daughter turned one, I started refocussing on what my priorities were and what I really wanted to do with my life. Did I want to be involved with kids every day? Did I want to work long hours? Did I want to have time for myself? I then made decisions based on that and continued to change and evolve to make my lifestyle what I want it to be.
What needs to change both generally and in Bahrain and the region more specifically, to encourage women to follow both their creativity and the path of motherhood?
To start with, women should support each other more, I find that the biggest weakness we have. Women criticise each other rather than open doors for each other. Also, laws should protect motherhood in the early years, with more than just breastfeeding hours. I believe flexibility to work from home some days a week, more day-cares that are close to big companies to keep kids closer to their mothers throughout the day. Also, more appreciation for what women do when they choose to leave their kids and work to give their kids more in life.
Are you working towards this in any way?
Yes, through my company policies, and through my online platform New Mom Old Mom.
