Chanelmama blogger Ouiam Charkani El Hassani reflects on just what makes a home.
We all know the saying “Home Sweet Home,” but where is home exactly? I have lived more than half my life in my parents’ house, and it was my home for 18 long years. I then unleashed the adventurous side of me and went to conquer the world. Since then, I have lived in different houses that I made my home, until I got married eight years ago, and had my own family and my own “Home Sweet Home”.
I still visit my parents’ house regularly, yet, year after year, going home seems more like visiting someone else’s home and not mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I love going back to the house where I grew up, where I built tons and tons of happy memories, where I laughed, cried and experienced all sorts of “first time” moments. I also love to see my son do the same exact things I did as a child, the same adventures, and the same fun; however, that same place that was once my “Home Sweet Home” is a strange place for me now.
I often can’t seem to find my way around, I always have to ask “Where is this? Where is that?”, whether it is in my old bedroom or the kitchen or anywhere else. Besides, I seem to know practically no-one there anymore; my friends are scattered all over the world and I have lost contact with most of them by now. Even the ones I am still in touch with, they are either not living in my hometown anymore or I get so busy visiting my own family that I end up with no extra time for my old friends.
Even the home food that every single expat dreams of indulging in when finally home, is no longer the food I crave. And the few dishes I do still like, I can never eat more than once during the whole stay (I can’t possibly eat the same thing everyday!).
The only pure pleasure that will always remain the same is the joy I feel whenever I am with my family and loved ones back home. The lingering over that cup of tea for hours, chitchatting and reminiscing about the past. How loud our laughter gets, and how much fun we have sitting in the garden enjoying the beautiful weather every evening.
While the place is no longer my home, the people in it are still the people I love more than anything in this world. While technically I am a guest in my parents’ home now, and while I miss my own “Home Sweet Home” even when I am in the same house where I spent 18 years of my life, it is still a pleasure and a new experience each and every time I go visit.
Today the home I miss whenever I travel, the home I love and cherish and live in now, is the one I built with my small family. The food I crave is that which I make for my family every day; the air I miss is this humid, hot air that fills this blessed island. Today my home is here in Bahrain, and no matter wherever I go, no place is like my home, not even the one I grew up in.
Chanelmama
