In this month’s column, Farrah Saville wonders if living in the grey is the key to enjoying life’s uncertainties.
I saw something recently that I have been struggling to get out of my head and find it entirely appropriate for the fast-paced life of on expat living in Bahrain. In fact, it is something I wish I knew earlier when living as an expat in Qatar.
And believe it or not, it came from a video I saw and keep seeing on Instagram reels. It’s of a little boy singing the song “Thank you for sunshine, thank you for rain, thank you for joy and thank you for pain.”
Throughout life we are taught the difference between right and wrong, black and white, good times and bad times… But in more recent times as I get on in age and experience, I realise that life is a lot greyer than we expect it to be. And no, I don’t mean it in terms of weather or in terms of negativity I just mean that life is not as black and white as we are conditioned to believe and I am starting to see that life is a lot more ‘in-between’ than so precise.
Over the last few years, I have faced many uncertainties about life, from personal dilemmas to health issues, a premature baby, uncertain times with COVID, living apart from my husband and sometimes all combined you begin to realise that uncertainty is the only certainty. And, when I look at friends and family nearby or across the globe people are generally going through uncertain times.
I am learning to sit with that uncertainty and learning that life is certainly not linear, nor is it a continuum. There will be times when a more passive approach is required – “just flowing with it” – and then there will be times when a more direct approach is needed, each situation will require varied responses and more importantly that each situation does not define you, and each situation does not need to make or break you.
By taking this approach, I think it also allows you to be less focused on how people should act or react to situations but to rather focus on yourself, and your own inward journey and goals. It also allows you to give people something very important for them and you… grace to be them so you can be you instead of hoping for a certain reaction.
In addition, uncertain times have taught me to be flexible in approaching certain situations because life is a question of context and not always about what is wrong or what is right. Meaning that by being fluid and flexible I can try to avoid my spiral into negative thoughts.
So, the main question then is “If things are grey, is there ever a right or wrong in any situation?” – the answer is a resounding “Yes!” You will know when the alarm bells are ringing inside about people, situations and events very quickly, especially where our fundamentals lie. But for the rest of it, I am choosing to enjoy living life in the grey and just sitting with the uncertainty.
