Teaching our children good hygiene practices is an important stage in their development. Ouiam El Hassani shares her tips on how to approach this occasionally awkward challenge.
As mums, we get how important it is to help our kids build good habits early on. When they hit those tween years, personal hygiene becomes a huge deal. (It starts that first time you get a whiff of some serious body odour coming from your once sweet-smelling baby!) Bringing up this topic can feel awkward, but with some smart strategies, you can have a candid conversation that steers your tween toward developing consistent personal hygiene routines.
Timing is key. Find a moment when it’s just the two of you without any distractions. A relaxed, private setting works best – like a casual walk, in the car or while you’re fixing a snack or meal. It is helpful if you can make some eye contact every now and then, but not constantly staring them down. Why? It keeps you feeling connected without making it seem like a big lecture.
Create a relaxed vibe where your tween feels comfortable talking about personal stuff. Reassure them you’re there to help and support, not criticise or judge. Start with an observation like: “Hey, I wanted to get your thoughts on something. I just discovered this new (fill in the blank) personal care product. I thought you might want to check it out.”
Start by discussing why good hygiene is so important. Explain it’s a huge part of growing up, staying healthy and feeling confident socially. Break down what this includes: teeth, skin, hair and body odour. Helping them see it’s just an extension of what you’ve already been doing as a parent by bathing them and brushing their hair and teeth. But now they’re taking over those responsibilities. They will really get it once you point out the embarrassing thought of you still bathing them at their current age! Share some personal stories or examples that drive home why hygiene matters. This could be something from your own teen years or a friend’s experience figuring it out.
Shift the focus from just another chore to taking care of themselves. Discuss how practicing self-care sets you up to feel good every day. Emphasise all the good things that come from great hygiene habits, like feeling fresh and confident, staying healthy and making a good impression around friends. Say something like: “Doesn’t that shower feel amazing?” after they’ve gotten ready or: “It feels so good to smell nice!”
Model good hygiene yourself. Kids often learn by watching, so setting a good example can be powerful. Frame hygiene as everyone’s responsibility in the family. Create shared routines together, like a morning or evening schedule that builds in hygiene time.
Encourage your tween to ask any questions that come up. Create an environment where they feel safe sharing any curiosities or concerns about hygiene stuff. If a question surprises you, try to keep your cool and neutral tone. If you’re unsure of an answer, you can always say you’ll look into it together.
Pay close attention to their thoughts and feelings on the topic. Actively listening builds trust and brings you closer, making those future convos way easier.
Having the hygiene talk with your tween can actually be a bonding experience. By coming at it with empathy, understanding and some low-key strategies, you’re not just guiding them toward better hygiene – you’re opening up good communication that’ll benefit your relationship all throughout those teen years.
