This normal yet unwelcome visitor doesn’t only stop by at night, it can creep up on you at any time, and sometimes for no specific reason! If your little one cries too much, it will pay you a visit. If he runs too fast, beware.
I know. I’ll give you a minute to re-arrange your face, which I am sure is twisted in disgust right now.
OK. Let’s talk this through.
One of the things that no one tells you about before becoming a parent is how familiar and accustomed you will become to the ‘V-word’ (aka VOMIT)!
From day one, in this chaotic journey called parenthood, you will discover that those little munchkins not only poop all the time (another delightful subject that I’d love to talk about some time), but also vomit almost all the time. At first it is just little pearly drops of milk, with almost no smell (or so you think, till you try leaving it intact for a few hours and you change your mind), then it becomes this ugly, catastrophic event that mostly happens in the middle of the night, on freshly washed sheets, that you’ll have to change, with only one eye open, because let’s face it, all you want to be doing is getting some sleep. Yet the smell doesn’t completely disappear, even after you change those damn sheets; it will stick around to remind you of this unwanted event. So, you will be in the middle of a nice, refreshing dream yet still that smell will find its way to you! And guess what? There is no way out!
Then of course let’s not forget about those, by now, extremely stinky sheets and clothes, that are piled up in your bathroom waiting to be burned alive. Because what are the odds of ever getting them clean again after a whole night in a warm, humid bathroom?
This normal yet unwelcome visitor doesn’t only stop by at night, it can creep up on you at any time, and sometimes for no specific reason! If your little one cries too much, it will pay you a visit. If he runs too fast, beware. If he eats too much, you are at risk. If he laughs too much AYAYAY! And, of course, the normal and most well-known reason: if he is unwell. In that case forget about it and just surrender! Because the ‘V-word’ will just put the tent up and declare the premises its own territory, and I could go on for hours about how big the pile in your laundry basket will be and how your nose will get used to that sour yet slightly sweet smell, that will become your constant companion for the next few days!
This is not the worst thing about this natural disaster, there is more! Because it can happen at any time, you might have to walk/drive/meet friends or even go to work, smelling and looking like … well, VOMIT! In the supermarket, while you’re doing your grocery shopping, at a café where you thought you could have a quiet morning with your little one, at a friend’s house [this must be my favourite, because now your face turns red almost instantly, and you start sweating uncontrollably because you are totally embarrassed and have no clue how to tackle the aftermath lol]. It can happen in the car (and freaks the hell out of you, because your little nugget can choke on his own vomit, so you must pull off the road, and tend to a crying, possibly scared and definitely filthy little one!), and the list goes on!
If you think this article comes with some magical solution to exterminate this natural yet catastrophic phenomenon, then sorry to disappoint you, we are all pretty much stuck here for the next 18 years [or until they can clean up for themselves, so maybe longer...]. So stock up on ice cream, chocolate and lousy TV, and remember no matter how hard it gets, motherhood is truly a blessing.