Introducing Chanelmama blogger Ouiam Charkani El Hassani, who’ll be sharing monthly insights into the ups and downs of motherhood.
This past month I have taken black to be my best pal, when it comes to clothing; no I am not mourning anyone or anything – thank goodness – nor am I a usual fan of black, however, my three-year-old son has decided that I should be wearing black every single day, until he decides otherwise! Every morning he answers my sweet ‘Good morning’ song with: “Mama, why aren’t you wearing a black shirt?!” and then some serious sobbing follows for the next 15 minutes.
I tried to brush it off and pretend that I didn’t hear him, yet you have no idea how persistent a three-year-old boy can be. I tried bribing him (Yes I was that desperate, when I wore all the black shirts I had, and was craving to say goodbye to my summery dresses, before winter came along!), it worked for five minutes until he remembered that I wasn’t wearing a black shirt and the crisis started all over again. I even tried to reason with him… have you tried doing that before? Using logic with a toddler? You know… explaining that I am free to wear whatever I want, and that no-one should dictate what I should or shouldn’t be wearing? If you haven’t, then I absolutely don’t recommend it! It gets you nowhere but to more sobbing and a very new kind of ordeal.
You see, I always heard about the terrible twos, and I am sure every parent in the world was warned about all the tantrums they are going to face with their toddler, when they reach two years of age. Yet no-one, not one single person, prepares you for the little monsters they will become at three! I’m serious, being the mother of a three-year-old kid is no joke! You can spend endless hours arguing about why crumbs are falling off the granola bar or why did the banana break or why the leggings are too stretchy and too tight… at the same time! Yes, that’s a real thing! Besides, it seems that every toddler in the world has adverse reactions to sandwiches cut into squares, or triangles, whichever is the opposite to what their mum did that day.
My little boy is, and always has been, a sweet little angel, we never knew what it was like to have a two-year-old throwing tantrums in coffee shops or grocery stores, he never threw himself on the floor or cried hysterically until he vomited. He never really gave us a hard time in public; so we thought we were the chosen ones! You know, the parents of the year, who will never ever deal with tantrums. Little did we know that if you miss the big “two” you will still get your fair share at three, or four, or five… or 18 for that matter. It will come sooner or later, so you have to buckle up and get ready for this tough ride we call the parenting journey.
It seems that once these little nuggets decide to throw a tantrum, nothing really works. You can try to hug and kiss and sing little songs, hoping that the next hour will be a better one; you can take as many deep breaths as you want; you can try to keep calm, by thinking of all the ice cream you will have, once this little rascal of yours goes to bed; but the truth is they are the boss now, and unfortunately you, as a mother, have no say when it comes to tantrums. Sometimes you can be lucky and the crisis passes smoothly, without any collateral damage, and sometimes you just have to pat yourself on the shoulder, give yourself a high five, because you have done it all and you hope and pray that tomorrow will be a better day.