Most women, when they come into a marriage, have very high expectations. They feel that life will somehow turn pink because now they are going to live as fairytales make us believe: “Happily ever after.” With all the romantic movies, the chick flicks, the pictures every married couple is bound to post on social media platforms, we form a very different idea from what marriage truly is.
Marriage has been looked at as sacred and holy. In all religions, ending a marriage is, almost, a sin. However, and with all what society forces us to believe, the statistics are showing otherwise. No one ever enters a marriage with the intention of getting a divorce – no one! Yet wherever you go, people are getting divorced. Homes are being destroyed, children are being dragged from one home to another, and life is never the same after that, for every person involved in this dilemma.
Marriage, if done right, is a true source of happiness. It is knowing that, no matter what happens, your partner is going to hold your hand and tell you that it will be OK. Marriage is knowing when to back off and when to move forward; it is knowing your partner and accepting their flaws; it is seeing the worst of them yet loving them anyway. It is a daily struggle to make sure you both are on the same page. It is a work in progress, as we all are.
The person you were when you met your partner is not the person you are today. You have changed and so have they, and, so, while this continuous changing and evolving is happening, your marriage is also moving forward. It is your responsibility to keep track of things because, if you don’t, with every passing day a bigger gap will form and you will end up becoming strangers in your own home.
Marriage is a different kind of love; it is a love that is strong, free of doubts, joyful even in the most mundane situations. It is a love that gets tested every single day, and whether it makes it through the day or not, depends on how well we communicate, how open are we with each other and with ourselves.
What if from now on we look at our marriages as the most normal, common and ordinary thing? How about taking all the pressure off and remembering that you and your partner are two different people, but you are always on the same team?
Live life as it presents itself. Forget what society thinks, or how everyone expects married life to be all smiles, giggles and flying hearts. Forget the need to show you are happy and just live, just be! Ignore what people will think of you if you don’t see your marriage as holy, and just accept the challenges this union brings. Talk about the struggle, the hard work, and the great deal of communication it takes to live in harmony.
Don’t worry if, by society’s standards, you are doing something wrong by not forcing yourself to fake it. Be real for yourself, for your partner and for your family. Articulate your worries, fears and dislikes. Talk about how crappy some days are, speak up about the bad days and how sometimes all you want to do is leave.
Be real, be normal, be you. Respect your partner even in the middle of a war; yet let your emotions out as freely as can be, without worrying about what your friends, neighbours, or family might think. Respect, honour, and immerse yourself in the goodness of your marriage by embracing the bad before the good.
