How many times have you skipped lunch or dinner, because you are too busy or too tired to eat? How many times have you deprived yourself from something you really wanted, because of your child? How many times have you pressed the pause button in your life, in order to be a good mother? How many times have you smuggled food into the bathroom, so you can eat peacefully? How many times have you left the house with no make-up or perfume on because, instead, you chose to wipe butts and have long conversations with tiny horrible bosses? How many times have you cried alone in the middle of the night because your kid just wouldn’t sleep?
I personally have done so many of the above and I’m sure you have too. Someone once described motherhood to me as like the oxygen masks on aeroplanes. Always in the safety demonstration they say that you should put on your OWN mask first, then fit your child’s, because if you are not alive you will not be able to save your child — and I couldn’t agree more. If you aren’t healthy physically and mentally, you will never be able to tend to your family’s needs. You need to fill up your tank so you can be the great mother you aspire to be. You need to love yourself first and be the example your kids need in life.
In order to fit that mask tightly, you need to know yourself well. You need to speak to yourself with love and love only. You need to value yourself, even if no one else does, and respect and cherish who you are. To love yourself doesn’t mean to be self-absorbed or narcissistic, it just means that you treat yourself as you want to be treated, that you don’t doubt yourself. It means to forget about any form of self-loathing, and to be able to put yourself as a priority in your own life and not always on the bottom of the list.
To love yourself is to know what makes you happy and go for it, be it an hour alone, a cup of tea with friends or a relaxing bath. To love yourself is to take care of yourself: exercise, eat healthily, be creative, laugh, and make sure you are living and not just existing. You need to know how to satisfy your own needs before you tend to anyone else’s. At times this might sound like a luxury that you can’t afford, and that’s when you need to practise your fundamental right in this life. ASK FOR HELP!
weI’ve learnt in the last couple of years that some people are always there for you and are ready to help you whenever you need it. I’ve also learnt that if someone says no to you, it is not the end of the world. It is probably just the beginning of the journey and the amount of nos that you will hear in your life does not, and will not, define who you are. So, yes, honour and respect yourself, don’t wait for anyone else to do it for you! Don’t be the first one to wake up and the last one to sleep, every day. Don’t cancel your plans because the house is messy and needs to be cleaned. Don’t allow anyone to treat you as a possession or take you for granted. Love yourself when you wake up in the morning and when you see yourself in the mirror. Love yourself when you allow yourself to breathe no matter how hectic the day gets. Just remember: To survive, you need to put YOUR oxygen mask on first!
