It’s time to bring the baby home and all you can see are countless pairs of judging eyes. Learn to battle unwanted stress and fears of inadequacy.
While many women fret about their newborn baby in the first months of pregnancy, others don’t ‘feel the pressure’ until well after the child is born. Let’s burst your bubble right now – motherhood isn’t intuitive! The truth is, no matter how much you’ve researched and studied, you are prone to insecurities just like any other new mum. So it’s important to remind yourself just how great you are; we’ll tell you how.
Learn to tune out
You thought advice marathons in your teen years were bad? Wait until you’re a mother! The ‘cuchi coo’s and ‘aww’s only last a while. Then comes the rigmarole of free advice from family, friends, colleagues, and the best of them all, strangers! Some mothers find this annoying; others begin to doubt themselves.
Now you can’t really turn off the shower of advice. So while it pours, just remember that they’re only trying to pass along their insights. It’s their way of helping (inexpensive as well!) The trick is to filter out the unwanted information and learn to spot wisdom from a rant. Don’t forget to smile politely and occasionally say, “I’ll think about it.”
It’s not a contest
The worst thing you could do is comparing yourself to every other mother you can find. It’s natural, however, to do so. It’s just not right to expect your two-month-old to roll over because your friend’s baby did.
Quit staring enviously and start talking to fellow new mums. What looks perfect to you is not necessarily the whole story. For all you know, they’ll be facing just as many problems you do or more. Looking after a child isn’t a cakewalk for anyone.
And if a ‘too fit to be true’ new mum is the problem, find someone else you can relate to. Not everyone comes out of pregnancy like Miranda Kerr!
There are enough people in the world waiting to bring you down; don’t beat yourself up! Do you want to go work again? Go work! Do you want to repeat that meal the next afternoon? Go ahead! Do you want to go on a date? Find a babysitter! As long as you’re getting rid of confidence-killing vibes, give yourself the green signal.
Nevertheless, leave room for productive guilt. This is often the gut feeling that has your back in the most crucial decisions of your life. If you think it isn’t right for your child, it probably isn’t.
Find a mirror
You’ve spent all your time focusing on your baby, you’ve forgotten about yourself. This is a strict no-no. Sleeping, eating and showering might turn into options rather than necessities on some days. If you’re weak physically, there is every chance of you being weak emotionally as well. It won’t be long before a meltdown.
Take rest! Of course, you’ve bid 10-hours of sleep goodbye. But you can take a nap and get some alone time every now and then. They don’t take long; you feel different – refreshed and confident! Don’t hole yourself up. Get dressed; wear some make-up – go out!
Great expectations? Not anymore.
You have got to face the fact that you’re on a whole new level of multi-tasking for the rest of your life. You might not be as great at something as you used to be. Cut yourself some slack. You’re managing a human being here; a child is a living project!
There’s no time to place the coaster under a coffee mug, cook a five-course meal and fetch the best mom award all in one day. If you’re a control freak, learn to ignore some things. If you need a to-do list to function, trim it down. Errors will occur. What you need to focus on is staying sane through it all.
Enjoy the moment
Life isn’t a movie, where you can have a flashback montage sequence at the flick of a finger. In your attempt to master everything under the sun as a mother, you might have just forgotten to have fun. That’s right, parenting can be fun!
If your child is meant to be a prodigy, he/she will get there. Don’t forget to enjoy your time with the little ones in your attempt to ‘educate’ them with all sorts of forced activities. Your baby is learning in every waking moment. Let your child laugh! A happy baby equals a confident mom.